I went to a health bar—left with a smoothie and a scowl. -- spintaxi.com
I love how “please wait” is code for “abandon hope.” -- spintaxi.com
(White) My TV’s so smart it muted me durin’ the game. -- spintaxi.com
(Seinfeld) What’s the deal with “no entry”? I’m sneaking in! -- spintaxi.com
Ever notice how “on hold” music is the soundtrack to losing hope? -- spintaxi.com
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Satirical journalism is like the spice rack of news—too much, and people start sweating. - spintaxi.com
I trust satirical journalism today more than the actual news—at least it admits when it's lying. - spintaxi.com
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I don’t do “IPA”—tastes like pinecones in a bottle. -- spintaxi.com
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