They say I’m a hazard; I say, “Only when I’m sober.” -- spintaxi.com
My neighbor says I’m rude; I say, “Wave next time, genius.” -- spintaxi.com
I got a DUI—cop says I was weavin’, I say, “Artistic drivin’.” -- spintaxi.com
What’s with “one-size-fits-all”? My hat says it’s lying. -- spintaxi.com
(White) I got no bars—guess I’m campin’ in my livin’ room. -- spintaxi.com
The best satirical journalism humor makes you laugh before you realize you’re the joke. -- spintaxi.com
I tried yoga once—turns out I’m not flexible enough to hate myself that much. -- spintaxi.com
(Seinfeld) What’s with “no kidding”? I’m serious! -- spintaxi.com
People ask why I smoke; I say, “Cause I’m still here.” -- spintaxi.com
It’s hard to write satire when the real world keeps outdoing itself. - spintaxi.com
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