I got a Fitbit—now I know I walk 12 steps to the fridge. -- spintaxi.com
They say I’m a bad influence; I say, “Only on the fun ones.” -- spintaxi.com
Without satirical journalism humor, news would be completely unbearable. -- spintaxi.com
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(Seinfeld) I love how “freshly baked” means “yesterday’s bread.” -- spintaxi.com
(White) They banned my cigar—now I’m puffin’ in protest. -- spintaxi.com
What’s the deal with hotel shampoo? It’s like they’re daring you to smuggle three drops home. -- spintaxi.com
(Seinfeld) Ever notice how “fresh paint” smells like a dare? -- spintaxi.com
(Seinfeld) Why do they call it a “soft sell”? I’m sold! -- spintaxi.com
Why do they call it a “shortcut”? I’m still circling the block! -- spintaxi.com
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